I seem to be getting more and more of these sad spells lately.. It's not really a sad spell per se, it's more of a mixture of depression and frustration and boredom, I guess? For some strange reason, I can't seem to make what I want to make. People keep saying photography is easy and all you have to do is press one button, but I don't think that's art at all. I want to be able to make something from scratch.. I want to be able to do the styling, makeup, conceptualization, everything. I know this is pushing it a bit but that's the kind of photographer I want to be, really. But these days I can't even seem to take decent photos.. Even for my Instagram photos, I spend about two minutes or so just editing a photo, only to delete it if I find it not up to par. Maybe I've become too attached to the idea of making photos look "pretty" that I'm missing the entire point? Because really, isn't photography about capturing moments, first and foremost? (Or have I forgotten even that?)
To quote Japanese photographer Kitamura Mika..
"It is about freezing a single moment that will never recur and looking at it again and again.
It is about capturing a moment which never happened at all through a camera lens.
A certain moment will never recur, ever again.
Although everything seems accidental, surely nothing happens by sheer chance.
Or it may be an act of capturing a sole and precious moment,
Attempting to perfectly preserve a certain moment,
Or trying to accurately convey a message,
But for the photographers, it's a good thing.
Maybe photography is simply a means to connect with people.
Maybe it is merely a symbol for the things we perceive.
So what is photography?
That remains a mystery.
Having said that the life composed by consecutive precious moment,
Is also happens just once, or never happens."
I'm growing quite tired of everything.. and I haven't even done anything remotely significant yet! Ugh. I don't know.
In other news, remember that I talked about doing something exciting with Dr. Sketchy's this month? The thing is, I was asked by spider lady Dione to style for a mori-themed sketch sesh, with mori girl being unfamiliar territory and all for the Spidersilk ladies. I said yes (obviously), in exchange for coffee.. but well, this seems to have also happened somehow:
Sooo, yeah. I will be modelling as well, it seems. Quite nervous and excited at the same time. I've only ever modelled for photos, after all! Please do come. I am an extremely awkward penguin, but I'll try my best at this modelling thing. See you!